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Links
HELP A VIRGIN
If this horribly miserable and I'm sure damned near suicidal 25-year-old virgin out. If this guys website gets 5 million hits by New Year's Eve then his friend will "help him out". So do Ross...I mean this guy a favor and spend a second.
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PRESIDENT'S DOG BITES REPORTER
Barney is a pissed off little puppy. He's only 2 months from losing his home with a huge backyard, and front lawn, and a rose garden he LOVES to do his business in. He's just a little upset about the election results. Or the reporter was REALLY ugly....
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HOUSTON PLAYER BREAKS LEG
University of Houston wide reciever Patrick Edwards went long on this one. But the geniuses at Marshall couldn't keep their sidelines clear. Needless to say, Mr. Edwards is now in a hospital getting sponge baths and being fed by a sexy nurse. The break comes on the second play, and the replay is AWFUL... Gimme Theisman anytime...
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NICKS GIRL'S COSTUME WAREHOUSE
Are you a girl? It is less than 2 weeks til Halloween? Do you need a costume? Then check out this commercial for the ULTIMATE outlet for sexy feminine costumes. Then come to my party on Friday....I need the street cred.
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MONKEY ON A SEGWAY!!
Look, he thinks he's people. This video kinda proves that there is a missing link. And to think, all this time we thought it was Serbs. He looks like he's having fun, but if he had pants...they would not be dry. I'm just sayin...
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TOP 10 FAKE LESBIANS
Fake or not I really don't care. A guy can dream can't he. And a guy can't be blamed for celebrating it either. Girls kissing isn't that just...FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!
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BENEFIT FOR LITTLE CANCER PATIENT
A benefit for Kirra O'Connor Fund will help 2 year old Kirra and family address medical bills. The event has been scheduled for Sunday, Oct 26, 2008, 5-9 pm at the Chanhassen American Legion. This event consists of a Spaghetti Dinner, Silent Auction, Performance by the Waconia Performing Arts Center and Halloween "trick or treating.
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WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SCARY MOVIE?
Halloween coming up time for you to sit next to your partner really close and help them through your favorite scary movie...and try the popcorn bag trick!
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PEAK STARPEX GUITAR
Sick of the plastic toy you hold when you're rockin out on Guitar Hero or Rock Band? Put down that Playskool crap, and pick up this hefty axe. This guitar is made out of a REAL guitar. Feels great, full weight, and the best part....
CHRIS WARCRAFT APPROVED!!
Only available for PS2 and PS3 right now, but XBOX360 is on its way.
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STREAKER KNOCKS HIMSELF OUT COLD
For a bet of $50, Nathan Roberts, 26, stripped off his clothes and streaked Adelaide Plains Football League game. He was supposed to do a cartwheel as he crossed the field. Unfortunately he Roberts failed, fell flat on his face, knocking himself out and was later carried off the ground on a stretcher.
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BRAD CHILDRESS FAN CLUB?
No truth to the rumor that this website was started by HAMS favorite punter Chris "Warcraft" Kluewe...the WARCRAFT GUILD however has accepted responsibility.
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HALF A HOUSE
This is taking the term 'half your assests' a little too literal. After 40 years of marriage, this Cambodian couple split, and the husband took his stuff, and half the house. He now lives with his mommy, while his wife still lives in the half-house. The only thing holding it up? Many small underpaid children.
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PUMPKIN BOAT
Leave it to a Wisconsin man to make a Jack-IN-Lantern. The Rome, WI guy carved out his 760 poound pumpkin and rows, rows, rows his gourd gently down the stream. One hundred fifty miles all for charity.
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BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE GUY!!!
This poor kid might just be the worst sports anchor in the history. Check out an aspiring Randy Shaver with the incredible catch phrase "BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!"
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MCCAIN/OBAMA HANDSHAKE?
After the debate, Barak Obama shook McCain's hand. But not the one up for President. It looks like John McCain may have not seen Obama's Hand, but he did 'hand' him off to his wife Cindy. (Get it? Hand?) Either he really does not like Obama, or he just thinks he has Cooties.
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KEVIN LOVE TRICK SHOTS
Even if the Wolves don't win many games this year, we'll still have the best trick shot player in the league. New T-Wolves rookie Kevin Love drops some incredible shots during Summer League this year. But no matter how exciting YOU think this video is, it will never match the enthusiasm of the sports reporter watching.....not even close. Think its fake? He's been doing these shots for years.
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KEG STAND GRANNY
Here is a grandma that would be popular on any college campus. This 83-year old is held up by her grandchildren. Take that rapping granny from one of those stupid Adam Sandler movies.
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MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
This man survives a near death experience at the gas station when he looks up and see that gas is still $3.20 a friggin gallon...oh and he gets struck by lightning.
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DAD BEATS UP GIRL
This California dad took issue with a teenage girl cutting in line at the Mickey D's. Enough issue to crack her in the jaw over and over. Then, as if he didn't prove his manlieness enough, he's off like a prom dress. Did I mention he did all of this in front of his 3 little kids? There is a special place in prison for guys like these.
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SARAH PALIN / KATIE COURIC SNL SKIT
Funny video from the oddly sexy Tina Fey portraying the incredibly sexy Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live. I feel obligated to post this video because it marks the first time in about 15 years that Saturday Night Live has done anything remotely funny. By the way what is Ellen Cleghorne up to these days?
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SARAH PALIN IN A BIKINI
Well sure you want to look. I mean this cougar could be just a step away from being the sexiest world leader. Take that to the United Nations and we can't fail. Here is Sarah Palin during the Miss Alaska Pageant in 1984.
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SEXY TENNIS
If this really is what happens during a tennis match count me in. Check out Jade Hopper and her sexy athleticism.
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HELP FOR ALEX
15-year-old Alexandra (Alex) Pieles of Princeton, Mn has a severe case of Scoliosis and will be having surgery to straighten her back. The Women of the Moose, Princeton Chapter # 1903 is having a benefit for Alex on October 25th, 2008 to help cover medical and additional expenses. All proceeds will be going to the Pieles Benefit, which will be held at the Princeton Moose Lodge.
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THE MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY ASSOCIATION STRIDE & RIDE
Come on and join Muscular Dystrophy Association Annual Stride N Ride Walk Saturday, October 11th at Rosland Park in Edina. The event will benefit over 2,500 families and individuals in the Twin Cities area who live with some form of muscular dystrophy to raise some dough to send the kids to summer camp's where they get to have some fun.
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HURRICANE BEAR
During a live news broadcast covering Hurricane Ike, a guy in the background takes a stroll on the beach...oh yeah he's wearing a bear costume!
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CREEPY WEATHERMAN FAN
Do you think that our favorite weatherstud Sven has had to deal with superfans like this dude? Of course he does...I'm sure he has to beat all of the ladies off with a stick...(clears throat)
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COMEDY FOR OUR TROOPS
Joke Joint Comedy Club presents V&F with a great opportunity to support our troops, bring the community together, and have some laughs
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WHALE THINKS YACHT IS IT'S MOM
A baby humpback whale has apparently mistaken a yacht for its mother. Rescuers in Australia are monitoring the whale calf. Meanwhile I was in Andover the other night and I picked up a whale who wanted me to call her "Mommie!"
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OUTLAW RUN
Ride the Outlaw Trail with the James-Younger gang Saturday, August 23!
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21 FOR KIDS
Mark Parrish, good hockey player, better softball player, hell of an accomplished drinker, and charitable guy. Friday August 15th at the Marriot Southwest Ballroom
will be their charity dinner, auction and concert. It'll be an evening of fun, excitement, live entertainment, celebrities and much more!
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BIRD POOPS IN REPORTER'S MOUTH
This reporter is doing a story on a bird infestation. They say a bird pooping on you is good luck. Well then a bird pooping in your mouth is worth at least a 3-pointer. We should find out where this is and send Serbs there. He could use something to make his breath a little better.
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OLYMPIC WEIGHTLIFTING ACCIDENT
Janos Baranyai a Hungarian weightlifter will be remembered forever in tne annals of Olympic lore after dropping a TON of brick on himself. Three things I noticed 1) How NOT repulsed the announcers were. 2) The Dozens of cameras NBC was using at the WEIGHTLIFTING EVENT, and 3) The poor group of locals that were used as a human wall was CREEPY. If you don't think you can handle the video here are a collection of pics.
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HIGH-VIZ
It's that beautiful three week long period in Minnesota known as summertime! People are out there riding their motorcycles. Here is how you bikers can help drivers notice you, and practice safe riding! Keep on truckin' Easy Riders!!!
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BK BATH
Ok Mr. Unstable...have it your way! These morons at Burger King (I know morons working at a fast food joint...unthinkable!) let this guy take a bath in the sink. No wonder my order took so damn long, and my fries were soggy.
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GIRLICIOUS
With the tragic news that "The Boss" Bruce Springsteen will be the headliner at the upcoming Superbowl (news that only drooling New Jersey mullet sporting morons will be psyched for) We at the HAMS stand firm behind our choice, super vixen group Girlicious! Check out the video of these incredibly talented(?) hot mamas shaking their lady parts.
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STEVE NASH & BARON DAVID STEP BROTHERS
NBA superstars Steve Nash and Baron Davis clowning around in a spoof of the Will Ferrell silly movie of the week Step Brothers. I'm gonna go ahead and just claim this version is far better.
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GET SOME NUTS FOOL!!!
You sure you want to take on the man who played Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus and Clubber Lang. Mr. T, the man who made wearing ridiculouly oversized bling and mohawks fashionable(?) recently had this Snickers commercial yanked after gay rights groups complained.
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THE VIRGIN MARY
A plumber working on renovations at a restaurant in Salinas, California says he found an image of the Virgin Mary in a floor drain.
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STATE CRIMINAL LOOK-UP
So you think that neighbor of yours is a criminal dirtball? Want to see what kind of trouble your friends and family have gotten into? Then check out this state-run criminal record look-up. For instance, did you know Nick got nailed for speeding last year? And in so was Matt Birk...where was the press for that bad boy? Just click on CRIMINAL CASE RECORDS, and snoop away.
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WAFFLE HOUSE FIGHT VIDEO
MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIID! And I'm gonna kick your ass all over this fine breakfast establishment. The infamous news story and Half-Assed Morning Show eating contest is now a movie! And Kid's not beating the guy up. He's just giving him his autograph, in bruises.
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WNBA BRAWL???
Finally a reason to watch the WNBA. The opportunity to see a bunch of women scratch and claw at eachother in between layups!!!
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HELP FOR BRIANNA
On May 31st, Brianna Eggleston was severly beaten. This Saturday July 26th in Albertville you can help contribute to her recovery. Events include a motorcycle rally, beer bust, live music and a buffet!
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WE LOVE THE NATURE CHANNEL
We love the Nature Channel because you never know when things might turn kinda kinky. Keep an eye on the kangaroo who takes some time to well...uh...
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NOW THAT'S SOCCER!
Ok nobody really enjoys soccer. Nobody wants to referee a soccer match. Unless you can do it COMPLETELY HAMMERED!
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MANAGER GIVES UMPIRE...THE ARMPIT?
This minor league manager gives the umpire a move that Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags from The Nasty Boys would be proud of. Watch as this guy comes totally unglued.
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10,000TH SHOPLIFTER CELEBRATION!!
This Dutch gorcery store manager does a 180 on dealing with shoplifters. After a long wait, he sees a chick pocket something and rewards her with a cake, a hat, and even a marching band. It's all in Dutch so it might at well be in Canadian, but it's still funny.
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DRUNK ANGRY MIDGET LEPRECHAUN
Perhaps the greatest phrase I've ever posted. There is a video of a drunken angry midget leprechaun...sorry it's hard to type through the tears of laughter.
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PENIS REDUCTION PILLS
Hey guys...do you want the ladies in your life to think you're packing a little heat in the pants than you really have? Only to leave them horribly disappointed when the two of you get naked. Well pick up a bottle of fake penis reduction pills?
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BIG DIESEL RIPS KOBE
Big Shaq, Shaq-Fu, The Big Arizon, The Diesel he is one straight dope MC (is that right do the kids still say that word...dope?) anywho he rips Colorado Kobe Bryant in his absolutely brilliantly (horrible)crafted freestyle. Go make Kazaam II PEACE I'M OUTTIE!!
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VINCENT MCMAHON ACCIDENT(?)
The most powerful man on Earth Vincent Kennedy McMahon was involved in a tragic accident(?) last night. Stay tuned next week on As the World Turns...I mean WWE Professional Wrestling.
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STEALING NINJAS
Ninjas, the biggest threat to public safety. Now they are on the rampage, robbing drug stores throughout central Florida. But why do you guys need guns? you're freakin Ninjas. You need lessons on being better ninjas? Then check this out.
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WIN TWINS OWNER SEATS!!
Vote early, and vote often. Just for picking the Twinks as your favorite team, you could win 4 Owner's Box tickets for a big game with the Sox. Voting ends on July 2nd, also don't forget to get our M and M boys in the big game in New York. (HINT: That's Morneau and Mauer)
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NATALIE RAPS
Natalie Portman showing a darker side to her otherwise wholesome persona where she raps about drinking and drugs and sex...man I want her so much more now. Hilarious video from her appearance on SNL.
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URO CLUB
Finally a solution to those embarrassing moments when you gotta go and can't find the privacy. Nothing is more discrete than peeing in your nine iron.
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HOLY SMOKE
This is why scientists stick to labs...1...2....3...KABOOM!
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GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP
Normally we wouldn't condone this behavior, but this kid has some seeds taking a crack at an opposing player during a post game wrap-up.
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LINGERIE DRESSING ROOM
Ah yes you can place these spicey models in all kinds of delicious underwears and tell them what to do...all the things that our girlfriends would never ever do for us.
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MAN ON MAN SLAP ACTION
That's an open-hand slap. Wrestler David Schlutz delivers a beating to a reporter. Well ask a stupid question...get slapped by a man?
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RANDY SHAVER GOLF CLASSIC
It has been 10 years now that our Randy has been cancer free, and with a small donation to the Randy Shaver Cancer Research and Community Fund we will do all we can to give it back! Oh, wait...I guess that the donation goes to fund cancer research and community projects in Minnesota. Oh well I guess that's a damn fine cause too. We will however continue our efforts to infect Shaver with male pattern baldness, that and hemhorroids, painful and stinky. Click here and make a donation!
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CELEBRATION GONE HORRIBLY WRONG
Congrats to the Spoakane Chiefs of something called the CHL on a fine season. And thanks to butterfingers here everyone on the team will get to take a piece of the Memorial Cup home with him.
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GOALIE TAKES A TUMBLE
It's the biggest series of your life...get out there and let's get the team started on the right foot...oh crap well it has been a fine season. Watch Penguin goalie MarcAndre Fleury fall before the puck drop.
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BEST BUY STEREO DANCER
Times are tough at the Big Yellow Tag. This car stereo salesman is sooooo desperate to sell a stereo to these girls; he busts a very awkward move. The embarrassment starts about 40 seconds in. He better have made the sale, and he owes Serbs a commission to teaching him those AWESOME moves!
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THE OFFICIAL SHOTGUN RULES
Stop the fighting!!! No more farting on your buddies pillow for taking the front seat from you. The Official Rules states in Section 6, Article 3.4: "The passing of gas on one's bedding is allowed in only extreme cases, such as those where a fellow back-seat passenger vomits on said farter."
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FLYING FISH
While I can barely RUN for 45 seconds, this fish was caught on tape FLYING for that long. Stop showin off fishy or you'll fly right onto my grill. I might be even find some 'floating lemons' and 'gliding tartar sauce.' MMMmmmmmm tasty.
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MEET PETEY P. CUP
I'm putting you on notice T.C. Bear, Ragnar, Crunch, that dork the Spiking Viking, and even you Goldie. There is a new mascot in town and he's nothing to piss on...well maybe he is.
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PLANE SANDWICH
This is your captain speaking. I'd like to thank you for flying with us today. now if everyone could get out and help lift the plane off of the OTHER plane, it would be much appreciated. Thank you for flying Crappy air.
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WEINER MUSEUM
ICELAND!! Come see our lakes, and hills. Play our golf courses. Stare at out penises!? It's the largest collection of penii in the world. Sizes range from the tiny, AKA Serbs', to the very large, AKA mine.
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GIANT BEETLES
There are two reasons why anybody should go to Taiwan. The first is....well, ya know... The OTHER reason is to send back these enormous bugs. They be some tasty eatin!
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HAPPY MAMA'S DAY
For all you mamas out there. You get one day,that's it, one day where we fall all over ourselves to make you happy. The rest of the year take it from Lebron James...sit your butt down and shut your nagging yapper already! Here is Lebron tellin off Mama! during the Cavs/Celtics game.
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LEAVE THE HORRIBLE SINGING TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Tony Romo should just stick to football. Here is the dopey Cowboys QB singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at Wrigley...brutal. Still I'd rather hear this than his girlfriend Jessica Simpson singing.
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SIR CHARLES...DUMBASS
We love Sir Charles. Here is a classic prank Ron Burgandy style pulled on the round-mound of rebound...classic!
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DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
Mascots...we know 'em...we hate 'em. Which is why it is so damned satisfying when one of these dopes makes a genuine arse of themselves.
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PIT BULL IN ENGINE
What do ya got under the hood? Two Hundred, three hundred horses...nah, just one dog. No one knows how he got stuck but the dog did some damage trying to get out. Check out the video here. Sit boy, stay....
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VIRGIN MARY SCAR
Some think drivers are nuts, some think its nuts to bungee jump, some think that I'm nuts for working with those three idiots, (I'm just taking the place down from the inside.) This guy is nuts cuz he sees the Virgin Mary in his ROAD RASH. And I'm sorry, but if you slide 50 feet it would a lot worse than this. Nutjob.
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WORLD'S LARGEST IMPLANTS
BOOOOOOOOBIES!!!! It's good to have a dream, somethig to aspire to. This chick has aspirations...of being STACKED! She's aiming for the unbealievable FFF. I hear that's some sort of record. Next stop, my world record attempt at longest nap using those funbags a pillows.
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RESCUE ME...FROM THE FIREMAN!!
This jumper HAD changed his mind, and while trying to climb down from the bridge, his hand slipped. Too bad the fire truck that was coming to save him was one second too late. Don't worry, he's not dead. Just really, REALLY hurt.
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BUSTED BY HER OWN DASHBOARD CAM
A police officer slams her cruiser into two parked cars. When a fellow officer asks her about the accident she denies everything...until it is all revealed by her own cruiser dashboard camera!
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INDIA BABY DROPPING RITUAL
From the Britney Spear's school of child raising. Here is a ritual practiced in India where babies are dropped from the roof of a building.
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FREEWAY SKATING
IS IT THE SHOES?! Ummm, yes it is. And the BILLIONS of oil dollars they have to keep their freeways in perfect shape. Good to see our $3.50 a gallon is goin to good use. These Saudi teenagers obviously know how to have a good time. Coming next week, Serbs doing this on his face.
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THE BILLY LETTERS
This dude wrote some of the most famous and infamous people asking for advice. Read some of the chilling responses. Billy also wrote The HAMS our response...send some pictures of your mom or sister, maybe she can be Hot Chick of the Day
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SHOCKING STORY
This reporter found this story...dare I say...really amuzing? No? SHOCKING!!! Oh that's just hilarious!
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DUDE HAS A HOLE IN HIS CHEST
Really....that's about all I can really say. Have a vomit bag ready. You know, like you're seeing Serbs for the first time.
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URINAL SURFING
Of all the places to go surfing in a trough full of urine...Chicago? No thanks
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MORE VOMIT FUN
I'm all for drinking...I'm even a more a fan of puking, and if I can puke and drink at the same time...wait no that's just gross.
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15 CAR PILEUP
A 15-car pileup shut down a Metro highway over the weekend. Hopkins Police released dash cam video that shows the chaotic accident. Since nobody was seriously hurt the official release from the police was HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER!!!
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PITCHER TAKES ONE OFF THE MELON
Notre Dame baseball pitcher Wade Korpi takes a line drive off the head. The radar gun picked it up off the bat at 100mph. He walked away fine, but its too bad he didn't get hit before deciding to attend Notre Dame.
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MASCOT BLOOPERS
Mascots...they're goofy, zany, and oh so horribly annoying! Except for you Goldie I love you! Check out these mascot bloopers.
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CELEBRITY OR NHL PLAYER
Who knew that under those masks hockey players closely resembled our favorite celebrities? Good to know if they ever have a Silver Spoons reunion that Marian Gaborik can stand in for Ricky Schroeder, and Alphonso Ribiero can...well like he has anything better to do.
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TENNIS TEMPER TANTRUM
BANG YOUR HEAD!! But not against your racket. I think this pro is trying to hit the webbing of the racket, but unfortunately the frame isn't as forgiving. Maybe he just wanted to sit for a little bit and bleed...because that has GOT to be better than actually PLAYING tennis.
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MAGGOT IN HER HEAD!
Come to beautiful Costa Rica! Swim in our crystal clear water! Shop in our exciting marketplaces! Take our maggots home in your head!? This thing is BIG, and GROSS, and might make you puke. This is your last warning.
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WEST METRO HIGH SPEED CHASE
A high-speed chase involving a bank robbery suspect snarled traffic and ended with a crash and shots fired in the west metro Friday morning.
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MORE GOALIE FIGHTS!!!
For the longest time I thought top ten lists were only for 10-year-old girls and David Letterman. In fact, in a top ten list of top ten lists this top ten list just might top all of those top ten lists. What? It's a top TWELVE list? That just makes it cooler. Oh yea did I mention? GOALIE FIGHT!
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DIRTBAG MOLESTORED BY BIGFOOT??
This creepy douche has a whole new reason he felt the need to try to pick up 13-year-old boys on the internet. BIGFOOT MADE HIM DO IT! The dirty, dirty hand of bigfoot touched him in his naughties, when he was little. Serbs was unavailable to comment on the accusation.
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PEEING DOG
You only get one chance to make a first impression, and this pug made one hell of one. No its not a drinking fountain, no its not lemonade. Ands PETA lay off on this guy for what happens to the dog...you can't say you wouldn't have done the same thing.
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I LOVE UCLA!!
Sometimes I wish they all COULD be California girls, especially if they all do this while sober. Just imagine what they would do drunk, maybe they'd even do Serbs.
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CLOSE CALLS!
Watch these videos where people come just about as close as you can get to getting taken out!
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EAGLE WOMAN
Can it get any better? Of course it can. It's Eagle Woman!!! When it comes to great local commercial talent I'll still take Fancy Ray, but Eagle Woman is right there.
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EAGLE MAN
Check out those low rates! Let's hear it for great local low budget commercials featuring men in eagle costumes, and women with super teased hair.
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GOALIE FIGHT!!!
But this isn't just ANY goalie fight. This goalie is Jonathan Roy, the son of Hall of Fame NHLer Patrick Roy. After the action started, he finally got into it. And is it just me or a goalie fight look like 2 fat guys fighting over the last Twinkie? Mmmmmmm Twinkies.....
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NBA DANCE TEAM BRACKET
Screw March Madness this is the only office pool you should spend hours pining over. Make sure you carefully study each team. Determining factors should be 1) stackedness
2)flexibility, and 3) jiggleworthiness. Wolfie girls you got screwed!
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CLOSE CALLS OF THE HIGHWAY PATROL
A police officer making a traffic stop is struck by his own motorcycle after it is plowed into by some idiot motorist. Hey jerky if you see that a police officer has somebody pulled over be grateful it ain't you and give the officer some room.
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BIG MAN
This dude makes Shaq look small? Kenny George from UNC-Ashville is 7'7" 360 pounds. And every single one of his girlfriend walks with a limp.
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BUTT IMPLANTS
Butt implants??? Is that what we've come to? These news anchors can't help but laugh, and I can't help butt (get it?) think this woman had it comin.
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POLE DANCE FIGHTING
Something so beautiful as pole dancing should never lead to violence. Unless it involves KY wrestling, jello wrestling, pudding wrestling, or ah never mind go at it ladies.
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MAYBE HE CAN GET IT TO COMB OVER
This man has set the record for the world's longest ear hair!!! That's it ladies I don't want to hear about my grooming habits anymore.
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GOPHER MIRACLE
Blake Hoffarber...is there anybody better suited to take a last second shot? Do you know how much trim is waiting for him back home! Watch this miraculous shot he hits to lead the Gophers over Indiana! Blake Hoffarber we salute you!
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REPORTER GETS OWNED BY SLED
Lets go ahead and film this shot right at the bottom of the hill. That way we can get a great up close shot.
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THE MOST POWERFUL HOOKER IN THE WORLD
She brought down a governor, she has a hit so....a song. and she looks GREAT in a bikini. Check out her pics page. Drop her a message, maybe you can be the next Client 9. Just remember to wrap it. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WRAP IT! You don't know where that 'squish mitten' has been.
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TWO FACED BABY
I bet the dad was really excited..."Great TWO more mouths to feed.." And the locals think this kid is some kind of god. Looks more like a devil baby. Hey...its hogging BOTH boobs! AT ONCE!
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YOU'RE ALL GONNA MISS ME
Watch out Chad Kroeger, President Bush can sing. In a closed door banquet he pokes fun at himself by song and with pipes like that, he could be some sort of country singer. Possibally a Judd.
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REPORTER GETS BEATEN UP
Its hard to make a joke at something like this, but I'll try...When are you people going to do this to Shaver and wipe that smug little smile off of his face!? WARNING: This Video is Graphic and should not viewed by children, those with a heart condition, or Packer fans.
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OHH QUEEFING!!
As far as old ladys go, Sue is pretty damn cool. This caller needs to learn to be half as cool as her. IT'S QUEEFING!
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RHINO MUSICAL APTITUDE TEST
Alright music trivia geeks here is your chance to score free cds for life and be crowned Geekus Musicus Maximus. The contest begins this Friday March 14 at 8:00
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SHARK ATTACK
Top of the food chain. Little Shark 54, a 50-pound female White Tip Reef Shark, spent 20 minutes in the jaws of Jesse, a 300-pound Sandtiger Shark
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IMPALED ON A HOCKEY STICK
14 year old hairless Connor Hanson was impaled on his hockey stick. That would be a hell of a splinter.
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NEWSCAST FIGHT
I understand that Randy has had a few tense momments like this.
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SHE GOT TEETH DOWN THERE
This would make for a great abstinence film circa de 1960something...careful Billy that filthy girl has teeth down there!!!
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STREAKER GET LIT UP!
I heard that sometimes cricket matches can last for days at a time. After half the crowd fell asleep, this was a good reason to pay attention. Those Aussies can really hit. That's not a tackle...THIS is a tackle.
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SNAKE CHARMER
Watch this newscaster in Dallas flip out when a harmless lizard jumps on him.
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ELEPHANT MAN! KILL IT!! KILL IT!!
You know, at the right angle, he looks like that clone of Ripley in Alien: Resurrection. "Killlll...meeeeee.....killlll meeeeee...." At least he's better with the ladies than Serbs.
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HOT MAYOR GETS CANNED FOR SEXY PIX
In a perfect world, she would be mayor for life, as long as she spent all of it in this outfit. This is why small towns don't work, people have too much power, and all the luck. But she has turned this into a money making oppritunity. Buy an autographed photo right here. And Fellas, she's SINGLE!
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EYEBALL TATTOO
Wow, you have the bluest eyes I have ever seen. As far as body art goes, this might even top this. If you've ever had a tattoo you have to wonder what the scabbing was like.
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FOOD FIGHT!!!
What a waste of perfectly good egg salad. 47-year-old Tracy Firsching was arrested at a Barak Obama rally for trying to have a picnic with him...then things got just a little out of hand.
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WHEN GARY BUSEY ATTACKS
How did Gary Busey get time off from working at the car wash to crash the red carpet at the Oscars? Laura Linney and Jennifer Gardner look absolutely terrified. Ryan Seacrest...probably jealous he didn't get a smooch. But let's give Busey a break it's not like he has a history of this type of....ahh I can't even finish that sentence.
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WINDOWS XP MUSIC MIX
Someone has WAY too much time on thier hands, and no I don't mean Serbs. This kinda catchy tune was made completely from computer sounds. Now all he has to do is get a life and a girlfriend and get laid. Then he will truely be a man.
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SCOTT IAN PLAYING GUITAR HERO, OR TRYING TO
This Anthrax rocker has a little trouble going from 6 strings, over a dozen frets, and having to use 4 fingers at once, to only 3 little buttons. At least he doesn't throw the guitar across the Best Buy. I'm pretty sure the look down on that sort of thing.
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AWESOME SLO-MO KARATE CHOP
The wonder of the human body, despite what this video looks like, his hand dod NOT break. Just shows ya that slow-motion makes EVERYTHING better!
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CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS STACKED!
I promise, this is the only time you will EVER see a clip from "Ellen" on this site. Buts its worth it to see this former pop princess who got knocked up and didn't end up a train wreck. I'm lookin at you Britney!
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POLICE BEAT DOWN
The office in question here was fired for this. He says she just fell...INTO HIS FISTS! And I'm sure the camera just had a low battery. WARNING: The video looks like something from the Richard Zednik video.
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WHEN SODA MACHINES ATTACK
The machines are revolting!!! A soda machine soaks this old woman. Be careful during your many trips to the snack room today. I overheard the coffee machine and refridgerator conspiring.
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LOOK DADDY A HORSIE!!!
Don't get behind that horse kid...ah well he had it comin. No I don't care if he's four years old, heed the warning boy!
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POLICE BEATDOWN
Video of a guy getting clocked by a Minneapolis Police Officer. Excessive force or justifiable? You be the judge.
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NBA WEDDING REJCTION!!
I can just hear Marv Albert now... "He runs in, to center court. Down on one knee....He puts up the question. It's good if it goes!! REJECTED!!!"
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NICK NOLTE DRUNK (SUPRISE SUPRISE)
It was a long day of interviews for Nick. This interviewer has to put up with inebriated actor. At least he didn't pull Joe Namath's "I wanna kiss you." No means no Nick.
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COUGAR HUNTING
Perhaps the most elusive and untamable animal in the dating jungle...the cougar. They have an insatiable appetite for educating poor younger men in the ways of lust. You most often can track these creatures by hanging around until bar close at your local TGI Fridays.
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CELEBRITIES WITHOUT MAKE-UP
Next time your girlfriend says that actress on TV is WAY hotter than she is, and starts feeling like a uglier version of Serbs, show her this. It'll make her shut up. And its about time too.
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ROCK AND ROLL FASHION?
Just cause you live the rock and roll lifestyle that doesn't mean that you can't look FABULOUS!!!! Matt Sorum has embarrassed the entire Rock Community with his clothing line. I haven't been this angry with Guns & Roses since The Spaghetti Incident.
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GLASS SYMPHONY
You know that there is some jerk in the audience who is dying to scream out "play Freebird!!!" there's always one. And if it is you...knock it off!
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PARTY ANIMAL
You know sometimes you go to a party and the host has a cute little pet looking for some food, or somebody to pet it. Yeah a dog, a cat, a hamster fine...a lion? That's a little bit different.
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COP ARRESTS FIREMAN
Looks like that annual charity softball game is going to be a little more heated. This Fireman got hauled away becuase of where he parked his FIRE TRUCK during an emergency on the freeway. Just goes to show that cops suck, except LTP. Check out the Raw Dash-cam video here.
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OFFICER PAPI
Yes sir Officer Papi I will not call you Papi. Further proof that crack don't smoke itself...Papi!!!
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SKATEBOARDING IS NOT A CRIME
RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!!!! I'M NOT MAN!!! I AM NOT A DUDE!!! We all know that kids can be smart mouth punks (shut up you are) but maybe this police officer went a little too far. My favorite part is at the end when he says if I find myself on YouTube....
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POLICE DUMP PARAPLEGIC
Tampa Bay Deputys are in some trouble after dumping a man in a wheelchair to the ground.
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LUMI-TAINT
The things some people will do to get on TV. Some eat cockroaches, some marry complete strangers, and some endorse completely ridiculous made-up products. I guess this lady REALLY needed a clean back door.
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BORED FIREMEN
This may be the future of flying cars. It's eco-friendly and affordable. On the other hand, you could never go further than the corner of the block. But at least then your mom could still take it to work.
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DEFENDANT PUNCHES HIS ATTORNEY
This guys already headed to the joint, so whats another few years. I would think that getting that appeal in motion is not gonna be very likely. Nice right hook though.
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MOST SINCERE-SEEMING CELEBRITIES
Here is a list of the most sincere-seeming celebrities compiled by a bunch of sheeple. I would sincerely like to tell you that if you believe this list...in all sincerity, get a life! I'd also like to sincerely tell you that I have sincere feelings about making sincere love to Jennifer Gardner and Natalie Portman.
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POOL STUNT ENDS PAINFULLY
Didn't your parents ever tell you about horseplay around the pool. Obviously these kids are swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.
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PANDA ATTACK
See what happens when the most adorable of creatures attack! It's so cute!!!
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HEATH IN A COKE DEN
 The footage was recorded at Los Angeles' famed Chateau Marmont Hotel where actor John Belushi died of a drug overdose in 1982.
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THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND
Pretty sure that Barack Obama lost Stevie Wonder's vote when his wife Michelle let him fall while brining him on stage. Yeah pretty sure you might want to let the blind man know that there might be a step up or two
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CAR FLIP
Alright lets all lift on three...one...two....wait you set the break right?
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IT'S FOR YOU
Man those telemarketers always call at the worst time don't they. This news broadcast is interrupted by an untimely cell phone and horrible dancing.
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GAY/BLIND WHATEVER
Anybody can climb a mountain...but it takes a gay mountain climber to be a hero. He's what? Oh well you can see how i got confused.
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SUPER ADS
February 3rd, 2008 will go down as one of the greatest nights in television history. Amazing things occurred that millions of people witnessed all over the world as one. Oh yea, and that game was pretty good too.
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OUTSTANDING HOCKEY CELEBRATION
ITALIAN SPIDERMAN!
SPORTS REPORTER...YELLOW DOUCHE
BULLET RICOCHETS AND ALMOST KILLS SHOOTER
OUTLAW RUN
ERNEST BORGNINE'S SECRET TO LIFE
REPORTER SHOT WHILE BROADCASTING
DUDE HAS A HOLE IN HIS CHEST
BEFORE HE WAS ASSMAN
CLASSIC MOMENTS IN TV VOMIT # 1
CLASSIC MOMENTS IN TV VOMIT #2
CLASSIC MOMENTS IN TV VOMIT # 3-THE PROJECTILE CHRONICLES
CLEAN AND JERK GONE HORRIBLY WRONG
BRAVE COPS SAVE JUMPER
PRISONERS DO MC HAMMER AND SOULJA BOY
PRISONERS PERFORM THRILLER
NEAR JET CRASH VIDEO
CAN YOU PUT THAT INTO THE FORM OF A QUESTION
VIDEO: Obama, Osama
PROTECT YOURSELF...AND THE REST OF US
PENGUINS BMW COMMERCIAL